Svadhyaya and the conversation of breath.

mary — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 06:01:58 +0000

I’ve been going through a major observation of self over the past few months as I prepare for my 40th birthday. This svadhyaya, or self-study, has revealed a recurring presence of tightness. In my upper back…in my thinking…in my chest. In my patience.

My practice has changed without my permission. I’m very frustrated by this.

There was a time, in my former career as a counselor, when I was an excellent listener. There was thoughtfulness and grace and acceptance in that. But if we only listen, where is the dialogue? In the dialogue, we find change and truth. In the conversation, we find our breath. In the exchange, we find pause.

Have you been through a time in your life of just talking or just listening?
What happens when you exchange between the two?
When you listen, is your mind still talking or is it present in the moment?
What happens in the pause between breaths?

Maybe my practice has wanted to shift. Maybe, just maybe, my practice is really what happens at the top of my inhale and the bottom of my exhale. Maybe it’s time to have a little chat…and be okay with letting go.

In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change.

- Thich Nhat Hanh

Habitat. For Humanity.

mary — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 01:42:41 +0000

One of my friends recently posted a quote on my Facebook page by Dr. Nils Bergman: “The mother is the baby’s habitat.” That, dear readers, has encouraged quite the pause in my life.

Imagine this with me: unmasked adoration on my baby’s chubster face when he sees me (especially when he’s hungry); seriously sweet hugs when I pick him up and he buries his precious, Burt’s Bees-scented fuzzy head into my neck; terribly loud toots when he pulls his feet toward his slobbery mouth; quiet little sighs as he nurses during those dark and tender midnight hours. I smell of a mixture of milk, lavender soap, buttermilk lotion, and you-don’t-want-to-know-what-else.

I am somone’s habitat.

Daddy just can’t quite cut the muster right, now, and oh have we tried. We both know the day will come when I will be trumped by worms to bait a hook with, skateboarding lessons, dirt, and baseball with Dad and big bro. But right now, I’m … it.

Pretty cool.

So to cherish this, to cherish him, and to save this habitat from insanity, I take a breather from teaching in the evenings. Here’s to you, and to all that you hold dear.

Yoga Girl Mary » pause

Svadhyaya and the conversation of breath.

In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change.

- Thich Nhat Hanh

Habitat. For Humanity.