I actually googled this quote. Hundreds of millions of hits later, I sat in awe, my fingers not knowing what link to click. We spend a lot of time, money, and effort trying “put the past in our behinds”, or leaving our pasts behind, as it were. The quote above actually popped into my head during a massage this evening as my back begged miracles of the therapist’s hands. I needed her to help undo what I had done to my body.

Our physical and emotional experiences imprint on us so deeply, layering on feelings of openness, freedom, happiness, but sometimes tension, anger, and despair. The former creates a confidence in our vulnerability, but the latter can sometimes cause illness and broken heartedness. We need all of it, though, don’t we? How would we ever have our eyes open to lightness if there was no darkness? Would we notice the radiance in our own hearts if we didn’t have a little tender spot here and there? And how on Earth could we ever relate to one another without our own experiences upon which to draw?

I realize (yep, from lots of personal experience), that there are times when we feel so stuck in our stuff that we need help from others to pry ourselves free. Find courage in that! Whether that comes in the form of a massage, talk therapy, a good cry with a friend, or a long run with your dog, take the time this week to put your past in your behind.

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

To increase your own inner space today, try this power yoga sequence:

Sun Salutations A, 1x, return to Mountain
Pincha Mayurasana
Vinyasa to the following, working first the right, then left side:
Warrior II
Reverse Warrior
Triangle
Side Angle
Vinyasa, returning to Mountain

Vinyasa to the following, working first the right, then left side:
Ardha Chandrasana (Half-Moon)
Triangle
Wild Thing
Vinyasa, returning to Mountain

Standing Hand-to-Foot, each side

Vinyasa to the following, working first the right, then left side:
Triangle
Vishwamitrasana
Vashistasana

For ab work (each set for 30 seconds, with the breath):
Set 1: In bridge, lift one leg vertically, then lower to hover above the floor.
Set 2: Repeat on second side.
Set 3: Roll back with both legs together, then roll forward to hands and lift butt and legs off floor.

Virasana
Supta Virasana
Windshield Wipers

Savasana

(to see this beautiful sequence, without the ab work, please click here: yogatoday.com)

Related posts:

1. Power Yoga. April 17th.
2. Intermediate Class: Pincha Mayurasana. April 22nd.
3. Intermediate Class. April 14th.

True to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.

Not false or imitation.

To live in authenticity, then, is why I share with you my dilemma of the powerful panties. When we are able to share our fears, our misguided moments, our hilarious capers in trying to fit into yoga clothes after having babies, we realize that our kula, our community, goes both deep and wide. As I listened to other moms around me talk about fearing their return to yoga asana practice because they had to bend over in their ill-fitting clothes and wonder aloud about how long it will take to return to shape, I couldn’t help but lament with and confess to them that I had worn Spanx (see previous post) to teach a class recently. It is just so hard to embrace and love our bodies in this state at times.

But listen carefully. We each know, down to our core, our power and beauty in giving our bodies to our babies. We each know how precious each little stretch mark or resistant belly pooch is. We each know the absolute miracle this thing that is called “giving life.” Many times, our partners travel that path of “a few extra baby pounds” with us (and bless you for that).

For us to be authentic, truly authentic, we embrace both the beauty of swollen breasts and wider hips AS WELL AS mourning the body that was while looking forward to the body that will be. For me, the powerful panties were a reminder of that. They were also a call back to the beginner’s mind so frequently called upon in my yoga practice.

So this week, in my beginner’s mind, here is my focus:

• Enjoying of the softness of my belly as my baby curls up against me to nurse
• Being tender in my practice as I regain strength in my core, specifically in mula bandha practice and in poses such as navasana, bakasana, and adho mukha vrksasana
• Finding humor in the fact that I actually have cleavage once every three hours
• Being ok with actually talking about all of this with my friends AND on this blog (this is huge and scary for me)

And with a deep breath, I click on the “publish” button, hoping to hear from you and about your “me too” moment.

Related posts:

1. Spanx you. Spanx you very much.
2. No fear.
3. Monday/Thursday Night Class Announcement.

Related posts:

1. Yoga Health Festival in Denver.
2. Power Yoga. April 17th.
3. Power Yoga. April 24th.

Imagine this with me: unmasked adoration on my baby’s chubster face when he sees me (especially when he’s hungry); seriously sweet hugs when I pick him up and he buries his precious, Burt’s Bees-scented fuzzy head into my neck; terribly loud toots when he pulls his feet toward his slobbery mouth; quiet little sighs as he nurses during those dark and tender midnight hours. I smell of a mixture of milk, lavender soap, buttermilk lotion, and you-don’t-want-to-know-what-else.

I am somone’s habitat.

Daddy just can’t quite cut the muster right, now, and oh have we tried. We both know the day will come when I will be trumped by worms to bait a hook with, skateboarding lessons, dirt, and baseball with Dad and big bro. But right now, I’m … it.

Pretty cool.

So to cherish this, to cherish him, and to save this habitat from insanity, I take a breather from teaching in the evenings. Here’s to you, and to all that you hold dear.

Related posts:

1. Sunshine and stars.
2. No fear.
3. Sticky Sticky Sticky.

Often the hands will solve a mystery

that the intellect has struggled with in vain.

Carl G. Jung

I have an obsession. It’s not a secret to those who know me or have been around me for any period of time. It’s something about which I read, practice, and luxuriate.

I love touch.

Lately, I have been reading book after book and article upon article about the benefits of being held. Did you know that you can regulate a baby’s heartbeat and bring more oxygen into their system simply by holding them skin to skin? Or, how about the ability to boundlessly thrive in animals who have mothers who hold them v. those who are fed but not cuddled? Do you remember a time being tremendously upset by something and a simple touch on the shoulder brought you to your knees in such release that you were able to breathe again? And let’s not overlook the intense pleasure and passion that ignites when your lover strokes the back of your neck just before a sweet kiss.

Touch intensifies everything. In fact, it’s how I knew I would marry my husband: from the first moment he touched me, he did so with his whole hand. It was such sweetness and such a sense of safety that I knew I was home. It was simply the bridge between my emotional self and my intellectual self – the marriage before the marriage, if you will.

Touch can be physical or emotional. Whichever it is, it can be piercing, yes? Here are some of my favorite touches:

• Nuzzling my baby’s barely-there neck and smothering it with kisses
• Spooning, early morning, with my husband
• Cuddling up with my preschooler and reading a silly book
• Receiving a hug from my mom – she has the most enveloping, soft, and complete embrace I’ve ever known
• Being licked by my ever-teething baby across my shoulders and jaw
• Touching my hands to my belly, ribs, and heart to feel my body breathe in quiet meditation

Tell me, how have you been touched lately?

Related posts:

1. It’s About Time.
2. mary, mary, quite contrary…
3. Kula.

No related posts.

This week has been one of true inspiration. Nothing profound happened, really. I simply received a text message from my neighbor suggesting that we trade perennials to expand our flower gardens. I was hesitant, because I didn’t think I had anything to give her and I wasn’t sure that she’d have anything that I would want to take. I had planned and planned and PLANNED my garden three seasons ago and have just been watching the plants and trees we put in at that time becoming more mature.

I had set my mind.

Nevertheless, I invited my neighbor over and showed her what I had, again, hesitantly because I wasn’t really wanting to give anything up, and as we talked I realized that 1) I have crowded and clumpy spots and bare spots; 2) my neighbor has a great eye for structure, placement, and color; and 3) my garden could use some definite rearranging and new perspective. We then walked over to her backyard and I saw LOTS of stuff that I wanted. I began asking for this plant and that flower and before I knew it we had planned a transplant and swap date for week after next. I am SO excited for that day!

And how inspiring it is to feel a shedding of what I thought was final! To extend the “edge” in my private garden sanctuary and push a boundary of comfort to which I had been clinging so tightly, yet so unaware.

Isn’t it interesting that the little colloquialisms we use are ones such as, “planting our feet” and “digging in our heels.” These phrases have such a finality to them, when they should infer the very opposite: planting to root and grow, digging to find depth and nourishment to be healthy.

This week, I plan to start a transformation in the garden of my life. These are some of the ways I will meet and push my edge of giving and receiving:

• Restoratively work in Upavishta Konasana
• Gift my preschooler undivided attention during the baby’s morning naptime instead of cleaning or Facebooking or Tweeting
• Receive and digest the compliments that my husband so freely gives, without deflecting them with self-degradation or sarcastic humor
• Call my parents and listen genuinely
• Engage boundlessly in a long distance relationship with my oldest son
• Breathe in deeply, and exhale completely

What is planted in your garden?

Related posts:

1. Spring Cleaning.
2. New Class Schedule!
3. No fear.

But why the need to escape? Fear of what? Let’s look more closely:

Fear of embarrassment. I can’t do it. My body doesn’t move that way. I’ll look ridiculous. I’ll fall over or down. I’m afraid I’ll pass gas (Yes, I said it. You know that you’ve been afraid of that one! There’s even a pose referred to as “wind relieving pose.” In a public class? No thank you!).

Good ol’ competitiveness. I won’t be able to perform the pose like that person over there. I used to be able to do this when I was in better shape/younger/more flexible/insert here, but now I can’t.

Fear of pain or injury. I broke my ankle a while back and I don’t want to balance on it because I don’t know if it will hold me. I can’t go upside down! I might fall or my arms aren’t that strong.

These are all very, very valid feelings. And they are important. These all keep us from putting ourselves at risk of injury, make us feel in control, and allow us to skirt what we may see as failure.

But what if we could succeed?

What if, by faith, we take a chance and taste the sri? Taste the abundance, the joy, the grace and beauty of falling back into the Divine and being caught by it? Open to something bigger than ourselves by allowing our yoga to emerge from deep inside?

Here are some ways I will dance with sri this week:

• Lean way back in side plank pose (vashistasana).
• Give in to a piece of dark chocolate. Savor.
• Smile at someone, as a gift.
• Skip like a goofball with my four-year-old. In public.
• Grab my husband’s cute booty without giving a flip about whether or not it seems appropriate. And then let him grab mine, even though it’s not nearly as firm as his.
• Practice handstand – one foot further away from the wall.

How will you dance?

Related posts:

1. Music. Sweet, sweet music.
2. Intermediate Class: Pincha Mayurasana. April 22nd.
3. Hip/Shoulder Opening Sequence.

Related posts:

1. Intermediate Class. April 14th.
2. Yoga Rocks!
3. Habitat. For Humanity.

Related posts:

1. Love For Elephants and Video.